So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
