Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
3 2 1 whiskey
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
