I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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