Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
