I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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