if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
