when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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