On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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