Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
