I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
