its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
