butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
