okay pat passed out under dana's car
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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