I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
