he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
