I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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