Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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