Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
