Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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