There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
