Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
