grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
