Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
