I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
