Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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