Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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