Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
