just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
