my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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