you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
