I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
