NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
