Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
of course. lets lasso hookers.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
