im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
