just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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