how can u be prego again
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
