margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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