alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
