You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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