Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
