It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
