My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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