Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
