There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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