Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
