She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
