I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
