Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
