You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
