youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
