you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
