I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
